In the olden days (i.e. before Izzy), the night in question would arrive, and I could oft be heard saying: "turn off the lights and hide, I don't want the little buggers coming round here begging."
Then, whilst I was cowering in abject darkness, one horde of kids after another would shout through the letterbox, 'you miserable bitch!', sometimes pushing through a dollop of dog shit to emphasise their general dissatisfaction.
That was London, where the kids were hardcore, and where it was also generally accepted that midget zombies could be shooed away with a cricket bat if necessary. Not that I did of course. I don't play cricket.
Fast-forward to Halloween 2012 and we encounter a different state of affairs. Instead of London, I now live in genteel Oxfordshire, where the kids are more likely to be found discussing the perfect roux. And instead of me being 'bah humbug' about Halloween, there was seven year old Izzy to please. It's a different gravy. I had to raise my bar.
So, to celebrate the occasion, I invited two of Izzy's best mates (May and Chip - short for Chipmunk) around for a mini-Halloween bash (no flies on me, although you can see where they've been). I thought I had excelled myself in the preparation department after purchasing a giant 'ham and pineapple' pizza, and some chocolate mousses in readiness.
But apparently (according to Izzy), we also needed a pumpkin, fake cobwebs, giant spiders and a whole load of other guff that I hadn't bought. That's probably why one of my nicknames is, 'hostess-with-the leastess'. Crikey, I only have a kitchen because it came with the house.
My only redeeming feature was that I had been sent a whole load of Halloween freebies by Asda (Izzy chose her own outfit from the selection), so at least Izzy had a costume to go trick-or-treating in, and some costume make-up.
And because I am like Mother Theresa, except that I would have a facelift if I became that wrinkly, I have got some photographs for you ................
Pic.No.1 Izzy's friend, May, arrived first and they immediately changed into their Halloween costumes. May was a witch and Izzy was a corpse bride (yeh, I don't know what that is either)
Pic.No.2 Man alive. Now for the challenging bit. I had to do the scary make-up ....... and I'm the least creative person on the planet. I was a bit worried that the look was a bit too 'giant panda', but they seemed to love it
Pic.No.3 Chip (left) turned up in time for dinner, and the Three Muskehounds were complete. I burned the pizza a bit, but the tubs of chocolate mousse turned out ok
Pic.No.4 When Chip's mum, Denise (who is dead creative), dropped off Chip, she also gave us a pumpkin ..... how cool is that!
Pic.No.5 Not only that, but she dropped off some Halloween spider biscuits that she and Chip had made that day ....... May contributed the bat to the photo (left hand side)
Pic.No.6 The Muskehounds ready to go trick or treating ......
Pic.No.7 They were a bit hesitant with their first trick-or-treat
Pic.No.8 But the hesitancy lasted for about 30 seconds, and then I couldn't keep up with their exuberance. We must have visited about 40 houses .........
Pic.No.9 Flippin' hek! There is a giant orb / space ship in the sky ..... actually, joking aside .... what is that?
Pic.No.10 This was the girls' favourite trick or treat house. The guy had dressed as a monk and there were loads of spooky skeletons hanging down
One thing that these pictures don't show, is exactly how busy the village was with trick-or-treaters. There were huge amounts of kids all dressed up and enjoying Halloween. And the whole village was buzzing. It was bloody brilliant fun.........
There was also another amazing thing - the weather. There had been torrential rain all day, but it stopped at exactly 6pm (when we left the house) and resumed again at exactly 8pm (the time we went to the pub). It was like divine intervention or something.
Pic.No.11 Finally, after an hour and a half of trick-or-treating, I asked the girls; "Anyone fancy a quick pint in the pub?" They all yelled a big affirmative. That's my girls
Pic.No.12 And the girl's fathers weren't far behind, once the pub was mentioned. On the left we have May's dad, DJ Hyper (also a founder member of the band Bright Bright Machines). And on the right, we have Tim, the founder of Alberon (a large web development company). I hope I get paid for that .........
But finally, it appears as though I have a potential rival blogger ...... Izzy. To celebrate Halloween, she decided to write a spooky story.
Pic.No. 13 Izzy's Halloween Story
And here is the story in type: "Once there was a girl called Scarlett. One day she was getting married to a boy called Tom. She looked so pretty in her beautiful wedding dress. She went looking for a rose at a brickwall castle.
She was near the woods when she saw a man on a horse. It was black and huge and the man had no head. He was the headless horseman. Scarlett was scared, she screamed and ran away. The headless horseman chopped off her head with his huge axe and she was dead.
She arose from the dead and she had long fangs. Her dress was disgusting! There was cobwebs on it and black roses.
Then she found him and she bit him on the neck. Then Tom turned into a vampire and spent the rest of his life scaring people to DEATH!"
I might have to give her a guest slot on me blog!
So dahlink, on a different note, how did your Halloween night go?