Wednesday, 13 July 2011

When taxidermy goes wrong

I was sitting in the kitchen today, idly having a cup of tea and watching Naughty George snore in his basket, when a thought popped into my head; 'Ummm, I wonder what people do with their dead pets?'

You see, I have been rather lucky to reach the age of 40 without actually having to dispose of a deceased pet. But it got me wondering, what would happen if one day I was faced with that dilemma?

At first I thought ........simple ....... I could just plant the stiff in the garden. But then upon reflection, it seemed such a waste. So I searched the internet for 'interesting things to do with dead pets', and up popped the art of taxidermy. 

What a bloody marvellous idea! Fido could live on in a stuffed state, and you could even pop him on a trolley and take him for his perambulations. I did some investigations into pets that have been taxidermied (is that the correct past tense?), and it quite quickly became apparent, that taxidermy is far more amusing when it hasn't quite worked out as was intended ...........

Pic.No.1 This was a deer

Pic.No.2 No one would ever notice that Moggy had been stuffed

Pic.No.3 This fine figure of a dog lives on after death

Pic.No.4 I wish I knew the story behind this donkey. My theory is that it tried to jump over an extraordinarily large razor blade

Pic.No.5 Bloody hell, it's nose has fallen off

Pic.No.6 Who says that gorillas have to be seen in the wild to appreciate their beauty?

Pic.No.7 A leopard on acid

Pic.No.8 Who thought 'that llama is gorgeous, I want to stuff it'?

Pic.No.9 A comedy meerkat

Pic.No.10 Not even the mighty polar bear escapes from the taxidermist

Pic.No.11 I actually want this one for my house

Pic.No.12 The ferocious pride of this lioness has been captured beautifully

Pic.No.13 Some hunter thought 'I want that boar on my wall'. Blimey

And then I stumbled across a dead pet that took me completely by surprise. Someone had stuffed a dog that looked exactly the same as Naughty George. As least it probably did when it was alive, because the taxidermist didn't appear to be particularly blessed with any skill.

Pic.No.14 Look! a Naughty George lookalike

How uncanny is that? And just in case you were wondering whether I'd actually bumped off NG, don't worry ......... here he is ...... in one non-lopsided piece. 

Pic.No.14 A non-dead Naughty George

So dahlink, have you got anything that you would like to stuff?

Tell me what you think by leaving me a comment otherwise your jam will go mouldy.

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